Leave Room for Laughter in Your Ceremony!

Photo by Ed Guarente

       Your wedding ceremony does not have to be all solemn, serious, and tearful – not unless you want it to be. Yes, you are making a serious commitment to each other, but you are also celebrating your love and your decision to make this commitment. Celebrations should be fun, and you don’t have to wait for the reception to laugh and enjoy yourselves.

       When you hire a celebrant to create and perform your ceremony, you can be sure she will make every effort to balance the solemnity of the occasion with laughter. If there is a humorous side to your love story, she will include it in the ceremony -- at least to the extent that you will allow it! Here's an excerpt from one of my weddings:

"It seems that the most memorable aspect of their first date is that Bruce prepared green beans, the ONLY vegetable that Amy won’t eat. Amy tried valiantly to swallow one, but couldn’t manage more than a nibble. That was the last time that Bruce ever cooked green beans!"

       Then there was the proposal story in which the groom had given his bride a ceramic tile painted by a Mexican artist. The bride had accepted his proposal, but then started to giggle. I told this story during the ceremony: "She asked him if he had noticed how the artist spelled what he had told him to write: 'M-e-r-r-y me instead of m-a-r-r-y me.' They had a good laugh over that and still laugh about it sometimes. After all, both spellings are appropriate for Jess and Bob, because they have many merry times together and are certain to have a merry married life in the future!"

       If you'd like to include a humorous reading, your celebrant can suggest one. The feeling of a celebrant-led ceremony will be so relaxed, you will feel free to add bits of humor yourselves. During one outdoor ceremony, the bride flicked a spider off of the groom's tuxedo as she was repeating her vows, adding the line: "I promise to remove all of the spiders that land on you!" Then there was the ceremony where the bride and groom shared a glass of wine. The groom took a sip, then passed the glass to his bride, who chugged the rest of the wine in one gallant swallow, while the guests laughed in delight.

       Sometimes there will be a mishap in a well-planned ceremony. I've participated in a wine sharing when the wine glass was missing - then two waiters brought two glasses of wine, not realizing the bride and groom were to share one glass! Another ceremony was disrupted by a tall glass vase being blown over by the wind and shattering on the gazebo floor. Then there was the bride who nearly tripped over the train that her maid-of-honor forgot to pick up. Fortunately she didn't fall, so we could laugh about it. As long as nobody is hurt, it's best to laugh about mistakes, just as you will during your marriage. Laughter will lift you over the bumps in your ceremony, and the bumps in your life, as well!

Nature-Theme Weddings

As increasing numbers of people are recognizing their kinship with Nature, more and more couples are electing to take their marriage vows in the great outdoors. The majority of the weddings I have performed in my three years as a wedding celebrant have taken place in the open air. I have conducted ceremonies in a boat on a lake, on lakeshores and riverbanks, on farms, in gardens, and in parks. Once upon a time, if a marriage was not sanctioned in a church, the only choice was a courthouse or a judge’s office. Now that the concept of celebrancy has made it possible for couples to have meaningful ceremonies without the benefit of a specific religious clergyperson, the venue selection for weddings is limited only by the logistics of getting guests and celebrant to the chosen site.

Outdoor wedding sites lend themselves to the incorporation of readings and symbolism that compare the beauty and love of nature with the love shared by the bride and groom. One of my favorites is this excerpt from Captain Corelli’s Mandolin by Louis de Bernieres:

Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.

And when it subsides you have to make a decision.

You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together

that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.

Because this is what love is.

Love is not breathless, it is not excitement,

it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. . . .

That is just ‘being in love’ which any fool can do.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,

and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.

May your roots grow towards each other underground,

and when all the pretty blossoms fall from your branches,

you find out that you are one tree, and not two.

The couples who choose this reading for their wedding ceremony have realized that yes, their roots are so entwined that they never want to part, and they love to spend time outside together.

Sometimes a couple chooses to marry during a particular season because of what it symbolizes to them. I performed a late August wedding at a farm, where the bridal party stood with me in front of a golden corn field, under a deep blue sky. In the opening words to their ceremony I told their guests that they had been invited “to witness this blessed union at Maple Shade Farm, where the fruits of divine creation and human labor are harvested, because the bride and groom view their marriage as an opportunity to celebrate their eternal, spiritual connection with the earth and all of God's creation, as well as with each other. They chose to marry at this time because they feel that the ripe corn symbolizes the strength and abundance of the relationship they have been nurturing these past three years, and the love that provides nourishment for their souls.” Later, as the bride and groom took their vows, a flock of ravens rose up from the cornfield and soared overhead to bless the couple with their magnificence.

Nature often bestows her personal gift on the bride and groom that choose to marry outdoors. During one mountain-top wedding a Monarch butterfly fluttered around the couple throughout the entire ceremony. Another farm wedding was blessed by a hummingbird that hovered over the bride’s bouquet of sunflowers as she took her vows!

An outdoor wedding poses certain challenges such as: making alternate plans in case of inclement weather and foregoing candles and tall flower vases that may be blown over by a sudden gust of wind. But for those who love the beauty of nature, and for those who feel most connected to the divine essence of life when they are among trees or on a waterfront, an outdoor wedding with a nature-theme ceremony can be the most meaningful way to celebrate a new beginning as husband and wife.