Wedding Processional Options

bride escorted by her children

       

       There are so set rules for the processional in a modern wedding. Many couples like to follow the traditional scheme where the groomsmen line up with the groom at the front of the venue site and the bridesmaids process single file down the aisle, but there are other options. The groomsmen and bridesmaids can walk side-by-side down the aisle, or they can alternate. These days many couples are choosing groomswomen and bridesmen for their wedding parties in order to honor their close friends or brothers and sisters of the opposite sex. Again, they can process in single file or pairs. Some couples will ask their wedding party to dance down the aisle, as did my clients, Todd and Kristina. That got all the guests in the mood for a fun wedding before it had even started!

       Traditionally, the bride walks down the aisle with her father, but I've had brides who processed with their mothers or with both parents, with an uncle, a brother, or a son. (The funniest processional was the one where the bride's two-year old son practically dragged her up the aisle because he wanted to get it over with!) Some brides choose to walk alone, or with the groom. After one of my couples walked together to their ceremony site near a waterfall, I said: 

Patrick and Jeanette walked side by side to this spot, where they will take their wedding vows, because they are entering this marriage together, just as they have done everything together on this journey of life, for all the years they have been in love. Not only do they walk beside each other through life’s adversities and joys, but they travel together, hike and climb mountains, run, camp, kyack, and bike together! 

       When I was married in 1977 I also walked down the aisle with my husband-to-be, but now my favorite processional style is the Jewish tradition in which the groom walks down the aisle with both parents and the bride walks down the aisle with both of her parents. The Jewish tradition also includes both sets of grandparents. This is the complete processional order:

The Rabbi and/or cantor
Grandparents of the bride, who are then seated in the first row
Grandparents of the groom, who are then seated in the first row
Groomsmen, walking in pairs
Best man
The groom, who is escorted by his parents. 
Bridesmaids
Maid or Matron of Honor
Ring bearer and/or flower girl 
The bride, escorted by her parents

bride escorted by her parents

       Non-Jewish couples can follow this order if they like the idea of including all of their grandparents and parents. Some grooms just like to walk their mothers to their seat before they take their place at the ceremony spot. If the bride is going to process with her father only, it's always nice to have her mother escorted by a son or other family member. It's a good idea to decide who is going to walk with who when before the rehearsal to cut down on last minute confusion. Practice the processional a couple of times to ensure that everyone will know what to do on the wedding day!

Native American Wedding Vase Ceremony

       The traditional Native American wedding ritual in which the bride and groom share water from a two-spouted vase is gaining popularity with modern couples. The ritual fits nicely in an outdoor ceremony such as Pat and Julie's farm wedding that took place in front of a field of ripe corn.

       In this ceremony, the bride and groom take turns drinking from a single vase to symbolize the life they will share as husband and wife. The two separate spouts remind them that they will remain two separate and unique individuals even as their lives become one.

       As Pat and Julie drank from the vase, I said: "Pat and Julie, as you share this life-sustaining water from two spouts, so may each of you share contentment, comfort and happiness from the common cup of your marriage. May you find life's joys great, its bitterness sweetened, and all things enriched by your companionship and love."

       Indian Wedding Vases come in a wide variety of designs and make a beautiful memento of your special day. Vases can be purchased from My Spiritual Wedding. 

       Here are a couple of examples:

       After your Indian Wedding Vase ritual a Native American blessing would be appropriate. There are several of these that are used in modern wedding ceremonies. This one is a Navajo Wedding Blessing: 

Be swift like the wind in loving each other.

Be brave like the sea in loving each other.

Be gentle like the breeze in loving each other.

Be patient like the sun who waits and watches

the four changes of the earth in loving each other.

Be shining like the morning dawn in loving each other.

Be proud like the tree who stands without bending in loving each other.

Be brilliant like the rainbow colors in loving each other.